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The Opposite of Spoiled

Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

New York Times Bestseller

"We all want to raise children with good values—children who are the opposite of spoiled—yet we often neglect to talk to our children about money. . . . From handling the tooth fairy, to tips on allowance, chores, charity, checking accounts, and part-time jobs, this engaging and important book is a must-read for parents." — Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project

In the spirit of Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman's Nurture Shock, New York Times "Your Money" columnist Ron Lieber delivers a taboo-shattering manifesto that explains how talking openly to children about money can help parents raise modest, patient, grounded young adults who are financially wise beyond their years.

For Ron Lieber, a personal finance columnist and father, good parenting means talking about money with our kids. Children are hyper-aware of money, and they have scores of questions about its nuances. But when parents shy away from the topic, they lose a tremendous opportunity—not just to model the basic financial behaviors that are increasingly important for young adults but also to imprint lessons about what the family truly values.

Written in a warm, accessible voice, grounded in real-world experience and stories from families with a range of incomes, The Opposite of Spoiled is both a practical guidebook and a values-based philosophy. The foundation of the book is a detailed blueprint for the best ways to handle the basics: the tooth fairy, allowance, chores, charity, saving, birthdays, holidays, cell phones, checking accounts, clothing, cars, part-time jobs, and college tuition. It identifies a set of traits and virtues that embody the opposite of spoiled, and shares how to embrace the topic of money to help parents raise kids who are more generous and less materialistic.

But The Opposite of Spoiled is also a promise to our kids that we will make them better with money than we are. It is for all of the parents who know that honest conversations about money with their curious children can help them become more patient and prudent, but who don't know how and when to start.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      November 17, 2014
      Despite a smattering of practical advice, there’s more of the philosophical than the methodological to this primer from New York Times columnist Lieber (coauthor of Taking Time Off) on helping children, especially those in the upper middle class, to approach financial matters with responsibility, generosity, and gratitude. Lieber makes a strong argument that money is something that children notice and talk about. He believes modern American parents’ reticence on the subject bypasses the opportunity to instill both good values and important skills. Lieber advises giving honest responses to children’s questions about family finances and encouraging even affluent kids to take after-school jobs. More specific and fun suggestions include divvying up allowances between Give/Save/Spend jars, establishing the “fun per dollar” test, and making the Tooth Fairy’s arrival less of a cash grab. Assorted motivational stories touch on both the mundane (collecting bottles for deposit) and the dramatic (parents who downsized their home, at their young daughter’s urging, to free up $800,000 for charity). Lieber’s easygoing style will encourage parents to raise a new generation that’s both confident and compassionate. Agent: Christy Fletcher, Fletcher & Company.

    • Kirkus

      December 1, 2014
      Talking big bucks with the smallest members of your household will make the world a better place argues New York Times personal finance columnist Lieber (co-author: Taking Time Off, 2003, etc.).Do you know the going rate for a visit from the tooth fairy in your neighborhood? If you have children, you're probably all too aware of the playground rumors that range from $5 up to $50 for the prized first tooth. So what do you put under your child's pillow? Does it matter? Yes, these seemingly small family financial decisions matter a lot, according to Lieber. In his third book, the author addresses affluence, its effect on child-rearing and the lessons most of us are not teaching our children about managing wealth. As practical as the first half of the book is-it's packed with suggestions on everything from allowance to college tuition-Lieber's advice skews toward the upper-class family, leaving out the many families who make less than the $75,000 annual income he acknowledges as his base line. For instance, when he counsels that an appropriate clothing budget be calibrated on Land's End prices, he largely ignores the fact that many families are struggling to afford even a wardrobe from Wal-Mart or Target. Later chapters get into tougher territory, and Lieber makes a good case for using early money management training to help children eventually tackle society's bigger problems, such as homelessness and hunger. Humble stories of kids raising money for Down syndrome research or creating kit bags to give to people living on the street offer inspiration for those who do have money to spend it wisely in the world and to teach their children to do the same. Sound advice on managing family finances but only if you have sufficient finances to manage.

      COPYRIGHT(2014) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      January 1, 2015
      Next to discussions about sex and drugs, talk about money is probably the hardest for parents to have with their children. Lieber, Your Money columnist with the New York Times, answers sticky questions about matters ranging from allowances to student loan debt to deeper concerns about how to know when one's children are too obsessed with money and material things. Delving into behavioral economics, Lieber advises parents to take into account the emotional aspects of money, including the role of social media in churning desires to spend. He also tackles worries about downward mobility and how to prepare children for future prospects that may not be as secure as their parents'. Through stories of families from varied geographical locales and economic classes, Lieber focuses on values and virtues to encourage in children to ensure they will not be spoiled, including generosity, patience, and perseverance. Using those virtues, Lieber guides parents in conveying the value and significance of money and how to use it wisely, how to spend and save, how to give and invest. Parents will appreciate the sound advice and broad perspective Lieber offers on this important subject.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)

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